Red after like 20 lemonades
by Redwut
Summary: This summary does not intrigue you.
1. Otter

cringe

Otter: GOOD MORNIN AMERICA

'Murica: ello

Otter: I HOPE TO SHOOT UP A SCHOOL TODAY

Turtle: yay fam can I come

Otter: hell no *shoots Turtle out of pure dankness*

Dankstalker: problem solved

Otter: oh hey dankstopper

Dankstopper: why u call me this

Otter: because you're so big that you stop the dankness from coming in

Red: hey fam

Otter: oh hey mom

Kinkyjew: HWAT

Red: *kills Kinkyjew* hey look it's father

*magic swirling dankness falls from the sky*

Otter: ...

Otter: WHO DAT

Red: u will never knoooooooooooow *disapears*

Otter: okay then

*Red comes back*

Red: I forgot my keys *drives away in a 1965 red Corvette stingray (don't judge meh, I like cars)*

fuckers: you must have a plot or else this story is against the rules

Red (me lol): *comes back* oh fuck the fuckers are here

FINE ILL ADD A PLOT

*adds plot*

Red: happy?

fuckers: also you're not aloud script form, challenges, author's notes-

Red: FUCK OFF

Red: okay BACK TO THE STORY

*story continues*

Otter: where is the plot

Plot: hi there

Otter: *dies*

Ash and Sofie: nuuuuuuuu

Red: *becomes Jesus* come baaaaaaaack

Otter: *comes back* what up fam

Gayseer: I AM HERE FOR THE SAKE OF THE PLOT

Otter: aight

Gayseer: HELP ME DANKSTOPPER IS STOPPING ALL THE DANKNESS FROM COMING

Otter: nuuuuuuu I must stop the dankstopper

Dankstopper: u will never defeat meh! I am too OP for you

Otter: I HAVE DAH POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

Dankstopper: hwat

Otter: SQUAD ASSEMBLE

*squad assembles with Otter as Iron Man, Ash as Captain 'Murica, Thunderbird as Thor, Sofie as the Black Widow, Jewbug as Hulk and Red as Hawkeye (srry Hawkeye is my favourite lol)*

Dankstopper: what the fuck

Ash/Captain 'Murica: LANGUAGE! (if anyone gets it, tell me XD)

Jewbug/Hulk: Hulk smash.

Thunderbird/Thor: more EMPHASIS

Jewbug/Hulk: Hulk SMASH.

Thunderbird/Thor: EMPHASIZE IT

Jewbug/Hulk: HULK SMASH *destroys Thunderbird/Thor* puny god. (PLS TELL ME IF YOU ARE GETTING THE REFERENCES OMFG XD)

Sofie/Black Widow: well then

Red/Hawkeye: Blueberry?

Otter/Iron Man: that's my line

Red/Hawkeye: ah fuck

Ash/Captain 'Murica: LANGUAGE!

Red/Hawkeye: WHAT A GREAT WAY TO END THE STORY, EH?

Cya!

-Red


	2. idek at this point

'Ello

Red: whussap bois

My hyped neighbours: FERDAAAAAAA-

Red: ..damnit..

My hyped neighbours: BOOOOOIS-

Red: jesus

Jesus: u called

Red: DAMNIT JESUS WHY U ALWAYS ANNOYING ME

Jesus: haha lol 'cause people worship me

Red: you are a troll

Fuckers: yoooo

Red: DAMMIT THE FUCKERS ARE BACK AT IT AGAIN

Fuckers: you need a plooooot

Plot: *is here*

Red: muhahahha I was prepared

Everyone: for once

Plot: so do I just stand here or...

Red: ...

Red: SQUAD

Squad: 'ello

Red: PARTY TIMEEEEE

*AT DEH PARTY*

Thunderbird: *drunk* hey people who wants a cake slice of

Otter: *also drunk* haha you mean of slice cake

Joebug: *also also drunk* you mean slice cake of

Red: *also also also drunk* you mean of cake slice

Ash: *also also also also drunk* get it right it's a cake of slice

Sofie: *is drunk but actually has sense* goddammit people it's a slice of cake

Literally everyone: oooooohhhh

Sofie: JOEBUG PUT DOWN THE KNIFE

Joebug: but I wanna cut deh cake

Red: why do we even have cake here

Otter: lol why not

Joebug: BUT I WANNA CUT DEH CAKE

Sofie: *is somewhat frightened* just... put down the knife

Joebug: NOOOOOOO *cuts cake violently*

Thunderbird: YAS *is showered in cake crumbs*

Ash: oh okay

Red: *steals half of the cake and shoves it down her throat*

Otter: *steals other half*

Joebug: INTRUDERZ *steals cake back from Otter and makes Red cough up her half*

Red: *flops*

Ash: wot n' tarnation

Jesus: wot n' salvation

My weird-ass math teacher: wot n' education

Destiny/Black Ops people: wot n' PlayStation (yes I understand Black Ops can be Xbox but PlayStation is better)

Health geeks: wot n' hydration

Meme council: WOT N' THE WORLD OF DEAD MEMES

Red: nuuu I'm bringing it back bud

Law: that is against the law

Red: haha fuck off

Otter: *cracks open a cold one*

Thunderbird: yooooo sauce me one

Otter: *tosses Thunderbird a budweiser*

Thunderbird: haha u just got snatched bud *reveals like twenty ounces of corona*

Ash: is this safe

Sofie: no

Joebug: yes

Red: twelve

Otter: *is swinging from the chandelier* 'MURICA

Red: DAMMIT OTTER

Thunderbird: *no scopes otter* mehehhhahhahah gotcha

Otter: nuuuuu daddy ugh

Sofie: wat

Ash: that was some high quality noise you just made unfortunately

Red: woah guys keep it pg

Ash: says the one who swears like 24/7

Red: I don't fucking swear

Red: shit

Ash: you also yell a lot

Red: WHAT SINCE WHEN

Joebug: *steals all the food*

Everyone but Joebug: NUUUUUUUUU

Joebug: oh shit

Everyone else: *doggy piles on Joebug*

Joebug: *teleports away*

Red: DAMMIT PEOPLE

THX M8 GR8 NO H8


	3. Panic! At the Disco

WARNING: MCR AND PANIC! AT THE DISCO XD VIEWER DISCRETION IS KINDA ADVISED NOT REALLY I COULDNT CARE LESS XD

Red: WHEN I WAS

Otter: A YOUNG BOI

Red: MY FATHA

Otter: TOOK ME INTO THE CITY

Josh: TO SEE A MARCHING BAND

Red: dammit josh ur not supposed to be here idiot

Josh: whoops

Greyson: CRACK OPEN-

Red: fuck

James: A COLD ONE-

Red: Stupid neighbours back at it again

Dante: FERDA-

Red: stfu

Greyson: BOOOOOOOOIISS-

Red: THATS IT *kills anyone who isn't supposed to be here* problem solved

Rustic: you're the only problem here

Red: UGH I THOUGHT YOU WOULD FINALLY LEAVE ME ALONE

Rustic: well I am your OC so-

Red: SO WHAT

Rustic: idek lol

Red: same lol

Narrator: now we have captured a rare moment! The unique species of Red is getting along with the arsonist known as the Rustic!

Red: wat

Narrator: observe, tourists

Tourists: oooOOOOOOOooooooOoooooooOooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOooOOoo

Red: DAMMIT PEOPLE I TOLD YOU WE ARENT ANIMALS SHOOO

Narrator: (in an Australian accent) oh! We've been spotted!

Tourists: *runs away*

Red: another problem solved

Rustic: does this mean you have a plot for once

Red: yeh yeh plot shmot let's play some hockey

Literally everyone: but we don't do sppppoooorrttss

Red: I wonder how I came across this website

Red: CAN ANYONE RELATE TO ME

Everyone: *is silent*

Red: DAMMIT PEOPLE

Otter: yo I just got some tix to the panic! At the disco concert you down?

Red: YES! There's my plot

*AT DEH CONCERTA XD*

Brendan Urie: I CHIME IN, HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF

Red: *extremly loud* CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR

Brendan Urie: *stops singing becuase of how bad Red is at singing true fact XD*

Ash: *very quietly* well that sure put the panic in our disco

Sofie: *facepalm*

Red: WOW YOURE JUST SO "PUN"-NY ARENT YOU

Thunderbird: that _was_ quite a good pun, Ash

Red: jesus

Jesus: wat

Red: NO GO AWAY

Jesus: well since Brendan Urie died-

Red: wait what

Joebug: he died of pun overdose

Red: we only said like two puns

Jesus: -we need someone to replace him

Ash: shouldn't we be at his funeral though

Jesus: that's where his band is

Sofie: and half the crowd

Red: OH GOODIE

*AT THE RE-STARTED CONCERT*

Otter: *singing* THE DEATH OF A BAAAAAACHELORRRRR

Red: *drumming* OH OH OH

Otter: HOW COULD I ASK FOR MOOOOORRE

Sofie: *playing the guitar* uh yeah song stuff

Joebug: *bass guitar* do do do do do do do do do do

Thunderbird: haha doodoo

Ash: how drunk are you

Red: CORRECTION: HOW DRUNK ARE _WE_

Ash: oh lordie

Otter: HIT IT

Red: *little violent drum solo* OH, WELL IMAGINE-

*ELSEWHERE*

Sofie: they're too drunk

Ash: yeah

Sofie: we must stop them and save the crowd from this!

Ash: yeah

Sofie: you with me?

Ash: yeah

Sofie: ash..?

Ash: yeah

Sofie: did you hear anything I just said?

Ash: wait what

*BACK AT DEH CONCERTA*

Otter: this is gospel-

Red: *mumbles 'cause she forgot the words*

Otter: locked away in permanent slumber-

Red: IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Otter: youmissedlikehalfthesongbut IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Red: CAUSE THESE WORDS ARE KNIVES THAT OFTEN LEAVE SCARS-

Otter: THE FEAR OF FALLING APART-

Audience: *is not there*

Red: the crowd left

Thunderbird: oh well *sips his corona*

Red: why do you always have corona

Thunderbird: cause it GOOD

Red: well FUCK IT I've got some Mike's Hard Lemonade (I've actually tried it multiple times, it's really good XD)

Otter: AND IVE GOT-

Neighbours: A COLD ONE-

Red: fuck it

Cooper: FERDA-

Red: BOOOOOOOOIS-

LOL CYA


	4. The fuckers part 1

Do not try this at home XD

Red: begin leh ritual

Josh: we have all gathered here today to pay our respects to the one known as Red. Though her death was-

Red: oh lol I'm supposed to be dead

Everyone: *waits patiently*

Red: CHILL *shoves self inside coffin* U HAPPY?!

Josh: -Though her death was by an unknown murderer we have yet to discover-

Jesus: NO ONE WILL MISS HER XD

Red: Jesus you fucking troll

Jesus: LOL *starts to fill coffin with water*

Red: oh shit you're gonna drown me

Jesus: ya done bud

Red: *slow grins spreads on face* yes I've been waiting for this moment all my life

Jesus: wat

Red: wait for it

*coffin fills entirely with water*

Red: IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOO- *explodes out of coffin*

Brendan Urie: you are a disgrace to this community

Red: that's okay I'm a disgrace to everyone

everyone: you're damn right

Red: I got something right?!

Rustic: YOU GOT SOMETHING RIGHT?!

Dragonets of Destiny: YOURE RIGHT?!

Jade Winglet: SHES RIGHT?!

Stonemover: back in my day-

Red: shut up grandpa

Plot: I am so fucking confused

Red: that's alright

Someone: oh nose the sky is falling

Red: fuck not again

Plot: what the shit

Red: EVERYONE STAY CALM

Everyone: *is not calm*

Policer: yo fam chill it

Red: YES LISTEN TO LEH POLICER

Policer: *takes off mask* muhahahha I am not leh Policer!

Everyone: *dramatic gasp*

Policer: I AM... *dramatic pause*

Everyone: *waits and listens intently*

Policer: THE FUCKERS

Red: oh shit

Policer/fuckers: *reveals entire plan like most super villains do* AND RED HAS DONE MANY ILLEGAL THINGS IN HER LIFE

Red: I won't deny it

Policer/fuckers: SO WE MUST KILL HER!

Red: do I have any heroic friends who want to step up to help me

Everyone: *steps back silently*

Red: that's what I thought

Rustic: *is pushed forward by Cobra*

Red: A FRIEND

Rustic: *attempts to scramble back into leh crowd* NO

Red: *drags Rustic out*

Rustic: WE ARE NOT FRIENDS

Red: FOR THE SAKE OF THE PLOT WE ARE TODAY

Plot: well I can't say no

Narator: Will Red and Rustic put aside their differences for the world? Will friendships emerge or will their fates lie in the heavans? Will they be able to work together to stop the Fuckers from taking over the world? Find out after the break!

Red: was that necessary

Plot: everything is necessary

Rustic: if you want to get paid, yes

Red: since when did we pay the plot

Plot: I'm right here ya know

Red: do you get paid

Plot: I don't think ANY of the shit that comes out of your mind gets paid

Rustic: touché

*DURING LEH BREAK*

Red: *consumes china*

*AFTER LEH BREAK*

Red: okay let's save the world from leh fuckers

Rustic: okay

Red: wait what should we do

Rustic: can't they like ban you or something for literally anything you do against the rules

Red: actually, no. While the common belief is that the fuckers can ban you or your stories, that is actually not true. It only seems so because they threaten people into deleting their stories. Even if they did send in complaints to ban you or your story, they don't have enough members to ACTUALLY SUCCEED.

Rustic: so in other words, THE FUCKERS CANT DO SHIT ABOUT YOU SO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT

Red: I mean, sure you should probably not copy n paste things, or maybe make your story a BIT site compliant, but everyone knows that the best meme stories are in play format!

Rustic: so that's your daily lesson from Rustic n Red, two best friends!

Red: wait what

Rustic: sorry I had to

Red: you fuckass

Rustic: lol

okaybyepeoplethatwasyourdailydoseoffuckeduphomemadememeslolXDcya

-Red


	5. The fuckers part 2

Shit to continue off of part 1

Plot: TAKE 1 *claps a little clapboard*

Red: *is eating stuff* mff

Rustic: uhhh we've gotta save the ppl from the fuckers

Red: oh yeh *swallows all her food at once*

Rustic: did you just swallow a whole cow

Red: yeh Clay can come fight me

Clay: FIGHT ME BITCH

Peril: HONEY TONE IT DOWN

Turtle: *is here*

Red: welp I'm a TurtlexPeril shipper so fucking fight me you fatass fuckshit

Clay: okay that went a little too far

Red: so did your mom

Clay: *cries*

Plot: you're steering away from the plot

Red: I am? *drives off cliff*

Rustic: this has got off to a bad start

Red: hey kiddos

Rustic: how are you alive

Red: ANYWAYS, LETS SAVE THE WORLD

*goes on epic quest to some random ass place*

Red: yo where are we

Fuckerz: MUHAHAHAHAH U HAVE FALLEN RIGHT INTO MY TRAP

Red: wat *falls into trap*

Rustic: you're an idiot

Red: \ (•◡•) /

Fuckers: lol u done bud

Red: NO BECUASE I HAVE POWER OF LEH FREINDSHIP

Fuckers: ...

Gayseer: not this again

Red: SQUAD

Squad: 'ello

Fuckers: nooooooo the war will be started again!

Red: I thought you LIKED the war

Fuckers: oh yeah

Everyone: ...

Fuckers: thisstoryisagiansttherulesbecausescriptformatisnotaloudandfuckyou-

Red: ATTACK!

Half of Fanfiction: *attacks*

Other Half of Fanfiction: *completely oblivious of the fucking war happening*

Ash: did you just re-create the Great War

Red: Correct. 20 points to AshEmber.

Ash: oh cool thanks

Blueberry: IMMA GRYPHONDOR PLS LEMME GET SUM POINTZ

Red: *throws points around like a Gangsta*

Rustic: you are not a Gangsta

Red: ples help a poor soul

Rustic: you don't have a soul

Red: i cri evrytiem

Otter: 5ever

Sofie: wut

Otter: 5ever. It's more than 4ever

Sofie: oooookaaay

Plot: well this just got extremely off topic

Red: SO DID YOUR MOM

Plot: I feel like that is offensive but I can't figure out how

Red: I dunno lol

Rustic: speaking of "not knowing", when will If It Rained Fire be updated?

Red: DO NOT REMIND ME *goes back to attempting to write good quality chapters for If It Rained Fire but remembers that she's shit at writing*

Writer's Block: helllooo

Red: NO GO AWAY

Writer's Block: but I just want a frend

Red: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Writer's Block: *single tear falls down cheek*

LEAVE A REVIEW IF YOU CRI EVRYTIEM XD


End file.
